According to my children, I am the absolute worstest mom ever! EVER!
Insert: stomps off and slams door!
When you ask them why, here’s what they’ll tell you.
10 Reasons My Mom is the WORST mom EVER!
1. She makes me wear my coat just because it’s cold out. But I NEVER get cold! That coat is so big and bulky and totally cramps my style – what does below zero mean anyway?? How can anything be less than zero?
2. She wastes a lot of time making these terrible dinners every night that have everything I hate in them like beef, chicken, pork, beans, eggs, rice, pasta, bread, potatoes, broccoli, spinach, carrots, peas, corn, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, and everything else.
3. Then she makes me eat a whole plate of dinner before I can have a snack at bedtime. I purposely didn’t eat it because I knew I needed an excuse after getting on my pj’s, brushing my teeth, reading books and climbing into my bed to say, “Wait! I’m hungry! I need a snack!” How else am I supposed to stay up to watch the Olympics?
4. She wakes up before the rest of the family in the middle of the night, but when I try to wake up she tells me it’s not time to wake up and I have to go back to bed. No fair! And she tells me that it’s “Mommy’s alone time”, but I totally don’t understand that because she’s alone with me all day, every day.
5. She won’t let me watch a movie when I sneak the remote and try to turn it on when she’s not watching. I’m already so settled in and so focused that I cannot possibly think of doing anything else. Doesn’t she understand that I hate to play? All of my new toys that I got for Christmas are so dumb and boring. All I want to do is stare at a screen all.day.long. Who doesn’t?
6. She totally stifles my creativity. She gives me crayons and markers and paints and tells me that I CAN’T use them on the table, the floor, the walls, the refrigerator, my toys, the dog, my sister, my brother, my clothes, my body or my face. I mean WHAT am I supposed to color on? Paper is way too white and plain and boring!
7. She thinks I need to sleep in my own bed every night. But I don’t understand, I mean, there’s a bed for the whole family, right? She and dad and my baby sister sleep there, so I thought that meant I could sleep there too. She tells me there’s no room, but I’m perfectly fine with sleeping on top of her or dad. Super comfy!
8. She expects me to do super ridiculous things like put my dirty clothes in the hamper instead of throwing them all over the floor, clean up toys that I got out, and clear my dishes after I eat. I don’t possibly have time to do those things when my sister is waiting for me to pick a fight with her.
9. She takes us to the store and shows us all kinds of fun and shiny and sugary things and then tells us we can’t have ANY of them! I mean, the store obviously wants us to have them, they put them right at our level so we can see how amazing and and fun and delicious everything is. She just doesn’t understand that I WAAAAAANNNNNT it! And when I want something what I really mean is I NEEEEEED it!
10. And the last reason why my mom is the worstest mom in the world is because she’s always trying to hug me and kiss me and love on me and I just yell, “Leave me alone!” and she tells me she loves me anyway. Ugh! Moms are SO annoying!
So there you have it – just a few of the many, many reasons I am the worst mom ever. At least that’s what my kids tell me. Oh well, at least I tried.
Oh wait a minute…
What did you just say?
Oh, I’m not the worst mom EVER? Oh really? Well thanks honey, that’s nice of you. It’s nice to know I’m not the worst.
What’s that? Say it again. Really?
You think I’m the best mom in the whole world?
Well, who’da thought? 😉
Are you the worst mom ever according to your kids? Tell us why in the comments!
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