This is Day 272 of the Green in 365 series!
By Elizabeth Phillips of runningfamily.net, Contributing Writer
*Emily’s note: I’m thankful that my cousin Elizabeth is joining us as a contributing writer. She and her family have been on a journey toward simplifying and minimizing and getting rid of all the stuff in their home that they didn’t truly need. I know from your comments, both on this post and on Facebook, that many of you are interested in this for your families too, and I hope that as she shares some of her journey that it will be an inspiration to you!
Madness to Manageable: How to have a Better House by Monday
In the last three years, we have been on a journey toward simple living and brining sanity to our life and home. Instead of running away from home, we turned toward it and took a critical eye to what was a real problem: the madness of keeping everything.
As a result, we have donated 180 large garbage bags to local charities and 7 major pieces of furniture which, since we live in a small house, was over half of what we had. It has taken us three years but we have had several “sprints” to help the progress toward a simple life along the way.
Here’s how you too can get started taking back your home from all of your stuff!
• Decide you want a simpler life.
You laugh but it is true that every change requires a decision. And then pray. We all need Divine help with this!
• Gather your troops.
Sell it to your family as a good thing to share with those in need. Persuade them over a couple days that a “big” sprint is coming to help everyone to be happier. Emphasize that stuff does NOT make us happy. Happiness is our choice.
• Set your time.
Send the kids to Grandparents’ home for the weekend or commit a specific bedtime so that you can focus for a couple hours each night.
• Set your area. I recommend entryways, kitchen, and bathroom.
High traffic areas are the highest frustration points for me because everything gets dumped.
• Pray.
Deep breathe here and pray again at your starting point. Realize, as I did, that this process is about forgiveness. We all need forgiven for the mess that we are. Ask God to help you to forgive yourself, your spouse, your children, your parents, whoever has contributed to the chaos around you.
• Work.
I prefer black garage bags that are heavy duty. Set up one for trash and label it with masking tape and permanent marker. Set up one for donate and label. Next, keep only what SHOULD be in that area. Put the rest in a bag and label it by category. For example, I cleaned out the bathroom and kept only what we use daily. The rest is labeled household: bathroom. Put this “keeping but not here” bag in the basement or the garage until needed. If not used in 6 months, then donate.
We have a few rules for these simple sprints. I do not touch my husband’s items. He takes care of his own hunting/fishing/dog training items. My realm is household and kid junk.
I also have taken a hard stand on children’s items. This is my home. I am answerable to God for how it is run. If I deem an item unsafe or unnecessary, I am accountable for that decision to God and my husband, not my children. I do ask them on certain things, but on most items, I am the authority to decide.
Once I stopped trying to be too “nice” about it, I was free to be loving but firm about my decisions. They understand that they will have that same authority very soon when they are grown and in charge of their own households. For right now, I am in charge.
I am gentle and keep important projects in their memory boxes, notebooks on the library shelf, and important toys in the toy library. Mostly they want to be able to run to music through the living room safely, so they see the importance of having less junk in their way. On a few items, they were upset. I held the line and did not apologize for wanting a safe home for them. The discussion ended well and remained positive.
It is possible to get rid of items without causing a war, by persuasive, yet, firm and kind instructions. Sweetness and love with a firm stance makes the transition much smoother for the whole family to move toward a simpler, happier lifestyle.
Is your family on the journey to live with less stuff? How do you get motivated, and help your family, to get rid of your stuff?
Elizabeth is living her life dream of running, writing, and raising four wild children in a little log home in the woods. She juggles blogging at www.runningfamily.net about healthy living, running, real food, and simple faith-filled living while trying to homeschool and practice Elimination Communication. She fails often at all of this but is trying to learn to live by grace.
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Amen sister! I am always working in this direction! My husband and I were just talking about how expensive it can be to raise kids and I mentioned my desire to raise my kids on less stuff. I feel a purge coming on here soon! I have too many books and too many clothes!
I am on that same minimizing journey, and the biggest thing I’ve found to help motivate me to own less is how much my stuff ‘owns’ me. Even if I’m not always dealing with it (extra kitchen dishes, books, extra cosmetics) it’s there, in the back of my mind as something that will need to be dusted, moved, packed, unpacked, shuffled around, or just crowding me out of my own house. The less I own, the more time I have in general to spend on things that matter, like family.
If you want to check it out, I just wrote the beginning of my little minimalist story: dreamingingreen.com
I think de-owning and curbing the purchasing is a big step toward green, but also toward personal freedom!
I just had 5 bookcases put up in the basement–my books, my husbands books, kids book and homeschooling will not have an organized home–my goal it to have space for a plant and a few pictures. I go through asking “what adds meaning to my life” and if I draw a blank–it goes!
We moved in two and a half years ago and we are on the final lap of being organized!
These are great ideas to get us going in the right direction.
Be Blessed.
What a great post! You have so many cleaver ideas here. We are trying to have less stuff! I was helping out my mother the other day and for some reason she had a hard time throwing away some patteren paper plates in different sizes. She kept taking them out of the shelf, but puting them back in. I got so fed up I just laughed, took them and threw them in the recycling. When I got back we could do nothing else then laugh about it..
Loved your words of advice and experience! I too am on the journey of simpler living . . . though, I admit there seems to be a constant struggle between what I would like and firmly believe is what we should be doing and the desires of my family. Any advice or suggestions about how to handle things when you seem to not only be fighting the clutter and chaos but fellow family members as well? I try not to impose my opinions on my family too strongly, but eventually I feel a bit stifled by it all.
Yes, I do! Remember it is not your family that is the problem! I recommend praying for the person in your home that seems to be against your efforts. Make room for them by getting rid of your own items so they can have organized space for theirs. Leading by example is powerful! We also discuss at length that stuff does not bring happiness and that even cheap items have a hidden cost. Patience and love go a long way in winning over their hearts. Remind them often how much you love THEM, not stuff!
Photos and info about the toy library would be great. 🙂
Great thoughts! Good work for you so far. I recently moved to another country which made me realize how much stuff I really owned. One thing that I found to be a good rule of thumb is to ask myself, “Would I pay more than full price to buy this item again?” If the answer was no, I got rid of it. This helped me especially in the kitchen where there are items that I do use, but not ALL the time. I often buy things second hand, at garage sales, or get things given to me by friends, which makes it easier to collect stuff. While I did use my salad spinner once a week or so, I would not go out and buy another one for $30, so off it went.
I found your website today and have been inspired more than any other website.
It’s been a tough journey but finally after 23yrs we are out of the military and our life is now our own. We have rented out our own home, moved across the states, literally one side to the other for work and have now embarked on a new journey.
I really want 2014 to be the start of a clutter free minimalist existence, where we are frugal, we have money in the bank and love the green way of living. I am fully on board and just have to motivate the hubby to get there too. Hopefully he will see things are much better and easier this way and will jump aboard.
Were moving into a new rental house 1 March and will eagerly be awaiting our 9 crates of stuff, which is pretty awful when you think there is only two of us and two very spoiled labs, but moving from 2600 sqft to 1400 sqft (it’s one way to convince him we have too much ) will be the kick start we need to unpack and give it to some well deserving charities in the local area.
I figure, less stuff, more time for us and my labs and less to clean 🙂
Loved the posts and I will be definitely cleaning our new rental house with these products before our things arrive and start as I mean to continue
Hi there! I realize this post is old, so I’m sorry for commenting on it. I was just wondering if Elizabeth had an updated link to her blog? I’d love to read more of what she has to say! The link to runningfamily.net didn’t work, and as far as I can tell it’s no longer a blog. Any help finding her new blog would be appreciated! Thank you!
Hi Karlie, You are always welcome to comment on old posts and I will answer as I am able. 🙂 Unfortunately, Elizabeth does not have an active blog right now. She is working on getting Running Family back up, but was having technical difficulties. She did write a few other articles for my blog, you might be interested in her post on creating a toy library. http://www.liverenewed.com/2014/01/how-to-set-up-toy-library.html
Hope that is an encouragement to you!
~Emily