According to my children, I am the absolute worstest mom ever! EVER!
Insert: stomps off and slams door!
When you ask them why, here’s what they’ll tell you.
10 Reasons My Mom is the WORST mom EVER!
1. She makes me wear my coat just because it’s cold out. But I NEVER get cold! That coat is so big and bulky and totally cramps my style – what does below zero mean anyway?? How can anything be less than zero?
2. She wastes a lot of time making these terrible dinners every night that have everything I hate in them like beef, chicken, pork, beans, eggs, rice, pasta, bread, potatoes, broccoli, spinach, carrots, peas, corn, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, and everything else.
3. Then she makes me eat a whole plate of dinner before I can have a snack at bedtime. I purposely didn’t eat it because I knew I needed an excuse after getting on my pj’s, brushing my teeth, reading books and climbing into my bed to say, “Wait! I’m hungry! I need a snack!” How else am I supposed to stay up to watch the Olympics?
4. She wakes up before the rest of the family in the middle of the night, but when I try to wake up she tells me it’s not time to wake up and I have to go back to bed. No fair! And she tells me that it’s “Mommy’s alone time”, but I totally don’t understand that because she’s alone with me all day, every day.
5. She won’t let me watch a movie when I sneak the remote and try to turn it on when she’s not watching. I’m already so settled in and so focused that I cannot possibly think of doing anything else. Doesn’t she understand that I hate to play? All of my new toys that I got for Christmas are so dumb and boring. All I want to do is stare at a screen all.day.long. Who doesn’t?
6. She totally stifles my creativity. She gives me crayons and markers and paints and tells me that I CAN’T use them on the table, the floor, the walls, the refrigerator, my toys, the dog, my sister, my brother, my clothes, my body or my face. I mean WHAT am I supposed to color on? Paper is way too white and plain and boring!
7. She thinks I need to sleep in my own bed every night. But I don’t understand, I mean, there’s a bed for the whole family, right? She and dad and my baby sister sleep there, so I thought that meant I could sleep there too. She tells me there’s no room, but I’m perfectly fine with sleeping on top of her or dad. Super comfy!
8. She expects me to do super ridiculous things like put my dirty clothes in the hamper instead of throwing them all over the floor, clean up toys that I got out, and clear my dishes after I eat. I don’t possibly have time to do those things when my sister is waiting for me to pick a fight with her.
9. She takes us to the store and shows us all kinds of fun and shiny and sugary things and then tells us we can’t have ANY of them! I mean, the store obviously wants us to have them, they put them right at our level so we can see how amazing and and fun and delicious everything is. She just doesn’t understand that I WAAAAAANNNNNT it! And when I want something what I really mean is I NEEEEEED it!
10. And the last reason why my mom is the worstest mom in the world is because she’s always trying to hug me and kiss me and love on me and I just yell, “Leave me alone!” and she tells me she loves me anyway. Ugh! Moms are SO annoying!
So there you have it – just a few of the many, many reasons I am the worst mom ever. At least that’s what my kids tell me. Oh well, at least I tried.
Oh wait a minute…
What did you just say?
Oh, I’m not the worst mom EVER? Oh really? Well thanks honey, that’s nice of you. It’s nice to know I’m not the worst.
What’s that? Say it again. Really?
You think I’m the best mom in the whole world?
The BEST!!!
Well, who’da thought? 😉
Are you the worst mom ever according to your kids? Tell us why in the comments!
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I love this, Emily! #7 really hit home with me today 🙂
When our daughter was eight she journaled that we treated her like a slave because we were teaching her to do the dishes.
Oh yeah, I read her journal. She’s 23 now and is just starting to warm up to me.
My five year old says I make him nervous when I dance. The kids have pretty well made me believe at various time, that because we didn’t buy them the current, cool ,expensive stuff their friends parents buy- they are really scarred and need therapy. (kids age 23-5)
When my daughter complains about how I treat her unfairly I tell her she needs something to tell her therapist when she gets older.
Yeah, I’m a pretty bad mom by most of these criteria! Also, I unreasonably demand that the pretty pieces of pink paper with heart-shaped holes cut out of them, left over from making 26 Valentines, be picked up, simply because they are blocking the only part of the living room floor not already covered in scattered bits of important projects! Even worse, I have rudely described my son’s feet as “smelly”! But my kid doesn’t have to wear a coat.
Too funny! Just wait until they’re teenagers. You’ll be able to add a few more to the list. But #1 and #8 will still be there. Did you know that teenagers HATE wearing coats? Until they have to shovel snow, and then they add #2 “She won’t buy me a coat I’ll refuse to wear.” Thanks for the light-hearted reminder to get a little laugh out of the childishness and enjoy the kiddos!
Different house, almost all the same reasons. 🙂 Add to it, “Why can’t I keep my iPod in my bed when I’m supposed to be asleep? AND!! How do you even know that I HAD my iPod in bed?? Then, it’s so not fair to take it away. Worst. Mom. Ever. hahaha. Funny post.
I love this, Emily!! I think I’m the worst mom, too! I swear our kids are just alike!
I also cook terrible food NOBODY in real life would eat and I make him do stupid homework after he spent all day in school!!!
#7 hits home!! Yet I broke his bed yesterday, so my 3yr old is sleeping with us tonight. Lol Tried to get him in bed at 8 but he said “mom you break my heart” -why? I had to ask and he replied “because I want corn dogs and watch jake(and the never land pirates). He was fast asleep at 9 after a corn dog and watching jake…. Ok ok.. He had me on his hands tonight… Lol
I’m the worst mom ever because I “never let us watch cartoons!” “We always have to do chores” and help cook in the kitchen so that when they have their own house some day, they’ll know how to take care of themselves. What! You think that skill magically appears with signing the papers?!
This is so cute and clever, Emily! Definitely made me smile.
Why might I be the worst… Probably something about not allowing Captain Crunch and his cohorts in the house!
The only thing left out is expecting them to get up, get dressed & go to church & behave while in church.
Here is one that my 8.5 and 6 year old tell me….”Mom? Why do we have to go home?” *This happened when we were on vacation cruising the Bahamas* Me-” Because you guys have school to go back to, plus don’t you miss your own comfy bed?” Kids-“Nope”. Me-“Well I am happy you had a great time, but it is time to head back home”. Kids-*start stomping and whining*-” UGH!!! No fair Mommy!! That is NO FAIR!!! I wanna stay here forever!!” Me-“okay…how do you plan to pay for everything?” Kids-“your credit card..” Me-*shocked* “….” After a minute of silence…Me-” Ok you can stay…” Kids-” YAAAAY!!!!” Me-” Ok well I will miss you guys since you want to be left behind” *frown* Kids-” What?! I don’t want to be alone without you, Dad and Grandma!!!!” *picks up luggage* “Ok Mom, let’s go!! Goodbye cruise ship!!” *runs down the hall* LMBO!!!! Those are my kids!! LOL
Ditto to all your reasons listed, but one other example of outsmarting a 10-yr-old: “But why not? ALLLLLLLLLLL my friends are!” Me: “Really? Name 4 of your friends whose parents are letting them. I’ll call the parent and confirm, and if what you’re saying is true, then I’ll at least consider it.” Kid: “Well, their mom said they could if I could…” Hmmmmmmm….
My daughter is now 56 but I can still her tell me I was the worst mother. Why? Because “everyone else’s mother let them do (or go) when she couldn’t.” When I checked everyone else’s mother, of course they wouldn’t allow it either. It took her awhile to know that everyone else had the same curfew as she. Her children pulled the same on her, as well. I chuckle when I see the worst Mom syndrome pass down through the generations…
Jeanette, thank you for sharing. You taught me something- that “worst mom ever” awards have been around for several generations. It’s good to know that it’s not just the current generation of youngsters that has tried this not-so-true trick.
Apparently I am the WORST mom ever! because I make my girls walk the dog! The dog they love and say they can’t live without when I tell them if they want the dog they have to take care of it!
I’m also the worst ever when I expect them to do their homework instead of play on the new tablets they got for Christmas!
I actually got those exact words! “You are the worst mom ever!” From my 4 year old! Why? Because I couldn’t play the “parent/teacher” part in his piano lesson book. What dingbat had to put “parent” in the piano book? If it just said “teacher” I, although the parent, would play that part with him IF I KNEW HOW TO PLAY THE DA GUM PIANO!! Oh, the pressure! 😉
Hahahahaha
LOVE this post and am sharing it with my social media friends. You are an AWESOME mom and I was laughing as I read through this list. As a mom of preteen boys, I could add so many others to the list … but the amazing thing is, even though our kids get miffed when we set boundaries, it is truly an act of love. Parents who truly love their children will do the hard work to set boundaries and be consistent and of course SHOWER THEM WITH HUGS, KISSES, LOTS OF AFFIRMATIONS and ATTENTION!! Boy, do teenage boys LOVE that! LOL!!! xoxo
My 6 year old was mad the other day because I would only let him have something healthy for snack.
I used to tell mine when they were little and angry about something “I made them do” or “didn’t let them have/do” that I must be doing my job then. Since I’m their mother and not their friend there are always going to be limits as to what they can say, have, or do. I take it as a complement when my kids say I’m the worst mom ever and I’m doing something that is what’s best for them. Hopefully someday they will have their own and then they’ll know why I did things the way I did. Since my kids are now older (teens) this title mostly comes from taking away their electronics when they are caught sneaking them instead of doing chores/school work or having conversations they shouldn’t be having. At least now when they get over being angry at getting caught they usually realize I’m right and accept the punishment.
My 30 year old, when she was 13: Mom I know you are trying to teach me things that you learned, to save me from having to learn them the hard way. But I’m the type of person that needs to….well, -wants to learn things myself, the hard way.
Me: Okay. Thanks for clearing that up for me, now I will do my best not to give you my advice. Makes my job so much easier, since we are not getting along well the old way.
Kid: Mom, how do I do this the easy way?
Me: I can’t tell you that. You told me you wanted to learn things for yourself, and I’m butting myself out. Like you wanted.
Kid: YOU are the W O R S T mom that ever lived!
Lesson: Be careful what you ask (your Mom) for.
I still allow her to figure things out for herself, mostly because I already learned from making those same inexperienced choices. Teach them to think for themselves, my mom said that to me.
I love your site! just found it today, can’t remember my path. I’ll be back often.
I am the worst mom every because I make my two year old change her clothes once a day! She literally would wear them for a week straight if I let her
I love your family picture!!!!!!!
Add to that making them brush their teeth morning and night, read literature instead of being tech-drones, and daring to make them try “exotic” and healthy foods (edamame, black beans – disgusting!!)… Makes you wonder what they’ll look back on with nostalgia. And also what “terrible” things they’ll expect of their own kids.
Our lil pumpkin cant talk yet but if he could I’m sure I’d be the worst mom ever for not letting him stick his hand in the VCR (yes we still have one of those) or put dead leaves, rocks, the dog’s foot, my foot, plastic bags…etc in his mouth. With lack of words instead I get “Mamamama!” screamed with a very red angry face to match his red hair.
Looking forward to future worst mama awards lol.
Love your site!