Dear Government officials, Pro-Vax parents, and Media pundits who want me to vaccinate my child,
Here I am again, drawn into this issue that I said I would never talk about because this whole discussion, debate, argument, whatever it is, makes me absolutely crazy.
I’m hearing loud and clear right now that you want me to vaccinate my child. I get that you’re passionate about it and you’re just trying to get your message across. I think you fail to understand, however, that I’m actually quite passionate about this issue too.
I have spent a lot of time reading, thinking, discussing, researching, and thinking some more about the decision to vaccinate my children or not. It’s not a decision that I make lightly. And I definitely hear that you think I should make the choice to vaccinate. But I think you need to know that the way you choose to approach this conversation has the exact opposite effect on me and my family’s decision than you are going for.
See, what we as parents who have questions and concerns about vaccinations need to hear is respectful and honest discussion. We are real people with real concerns about vaccines and their risks, the diseases they prevent against, our children’s health and safety, and the health of our society. We want our questions and concerns to be taken seriously and to be met with truthful and respectful responses.
So, let’s take a look at how honest and respectful this discussion is right now.
The Measles “Outbreak”
To begin with, the reason the issue of vaccines is raging right now is because of recent measles cases in the US. These cases of measles are labeled as an “outbreak” and the media is acting like people should be super concerned and freaking out about this. There have been 141 reported cases of measles, and the population of the US is around 316.1 million, so this means that .000045% of the population has contracted measles.
I’ve also heard the words “deadly disease” thrown around these discussions when stating the reasons that people should get vaccinated. But no one has died from measles during this outbreak. In fact, no one has died from measles in the US since 2003 according to the CDC. (source)
Using terms like “outbreak” and “deadly disease” in this discussion of measles cases and vaccines is disingenuous. Perhaps we could find a more accurate descriptive term than “outbreak”. And remember, we are looking for honest discussion here, and “deadly disease” is not an honest term. We are not stupid, we can hear the fear mongering.
We can do our own research and learn that this disease (and many other diseases that vaccines are currently available for) are in fact NOT deadly here in the US where we have, and will continue to have, proper and adequate medical care to treat these diseases. This is something we should all acknowledge and be grateful for instead of using terms to provoke fear and hysteria.
The Pro-Vax Voices
Next, let’s discuss the way those who are very pro-vaccine talk about people who are either anti-vaccine, or have questions and concerns about vaccines and might be on the fence about them. Let me give you a clue, it’s not very kind or respectful.
For example, Hilary Clinton recently tweeted:
Wow, condescending much? As if this is going to suddenly make all of my concerns go away and I’ll run right out and get my kid all of her vaccines.
Since I am a Christian and care about following Jesus, there is this gem that tells me that Jesus would have been pro-vaccine, and that I am not following Him faithfully if I don’t vaccinate my children. Nothing like a little side of faith-based guilt and shame to go along with my legitimate questions about vaccines.
And then, because I’m obviously just too stupid to get it, you must lay it out for me using an analogy of having brakes on your car being the same thing as vaccinating your children. Except this just doesn’t really work for me because the last time I checked having brakes on your car doesn’t actually have any known risks or side-effects.
And then people respond like this in the comments section on a link to the above article on Facebook:
Okay, you won me over with your kind and respectful words. You’re right, I’m an ill-informed moron and will go vaccinate my child right away.
The problem I see here is that you who are strongly pro-vaccine and think everyone should vaccinate their children according to the CDC schedule with no questions asked are not being respectful and honest about the legitimate concerns that parents have about vaccines. You just want to sweep them under the rug and pretend they don’t exist.
Vaccines absolutely carry real risks. Why else would the government have to create the Vaccine Injury Compensation Program? So if you try to argue that vaccines have no risks, then you are not engaging in honest discussion. It feels like you are throwing facts and common sense right out the window, when it’s facts and common sense that are actually needed to engage in meaningful discussion about vaccines.
The fact is, there are many, many well-educated, critical thinking, well read, concerned parents and citizens who DO want to make the best decision for both the health of their child and for the health of society as a whole. We already know there are risks to both vaccines and to the diseases they protect against. Therefore, we have appropriate concerns about these risks and are looking for information about how to best weigh the risks and benefits of both.
Without trustworthy information, presented in a respectful and honest way, it is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to navigate this issue and arrive at a decision we feel confident about. And so, by engaging in bullying, shaming, scare tactics, fear mongering, name calling and much worse, you are actually pushing us father away from being able to make the decision you want us to make.
You are pushing us away from vaccinating our children because you refuse to be respectful and honest with us. And we will not be scared or bullied into these decisions when we have legitimate questions and concerns that we want to be taken seriously before injecting our children with something that could have serious consequences. Ignoring these facts will not ever move us, and our country as a whole, toward the high vaccination rates you are so desperately looking for.
So, respect our questions and our desire for honest discussions about these issues. One of the best ways you can do that is by beginning to be honest about the risks of vaccines. Acknowledge that vaccines carry risks and can have destructive consequences just like the diseases they prevent against.
And then provide and promote trustworthy information that acknowledges the real risks and benefits of both vaccines and vaccine-preventable diseases.
So, dear government officials, concerned pro-vax parents, and media pundits, if you truly want me to vaccinate my child for the good of the society, and I sincerely believe you do, you need to rethink your strategy. The way to get those of us who have questions and concerns about vaccines to vaccinate our children is not to shame us, belittle us, humiliate us, or scare us. It is to respect us and our concerns, and to engage in honest discussion with us.
Sincerely,
A Parent who reads, researches, and struggles with the decision to vaccinate my children
And P.S. Before you get all bent out of shape, I am not anti-vaccine. My older two children are up to date on all of the vaccines they need for school. My youngest daughter is partially vaccinated based on a schedule and time-table that we feel comfortable with. Our plan was to have her fully vaccinated by the time she is ready to start school, but as I said in the post, the biggest thing that holds me back from continuing with her vaccines at this point is the way I perceive those on the “pro-vax side” to treat me, my concerns, and my partially vaccinate child. Please keep all discussion and comments respectful or they will be deleted at my discretion.
If you have questions and concerns about vaccines and the current vaccine schedule, and/or your child is unvaccinated or partially vaccinated, what’s one thing you’d like to say to those who want you to vaccinate your child? I’d love to hear your thoughts, experiences, and opinions (respectfully) in the comments.
Cartoon credit: iosphere from freedigitalphotos.net
Very well written! If I knew 30 years ago what I know now, I would not have had my children vaccinated. I thank God that they did not have any lasting side effects, that I am aware of anyway, or issues. Sadly people who are uninformed are the ones throwing stones because of fear, they believe everything they are told because our government would never lie to them.. 🙂
I love how you just assume that people who are for vaccination are just idiots who blindly listen to whatever the government tells them. After reading an article about how what the discussion needs is respect – on BOTH sides no less. They couldn’t possibly have read medical studies or talked it over with their doctor to come to an intelligent conclusion. I disagree so they MUST just be uninformed idiots.
Problem is that’s how BOTH sides view the other and as long as BOTH sides view the other as idiots no reasonable discussion is EVER going to take place. I think both sides need to grow up and show respect and listen to each other. I’ve heard lots of exaggerations and half truths and outright lies from both sides. I think a rational discussion needs to be had on a national level because BOTH sides have valid concerns and points.
I wish I had known earlier too and not vaccinated my son!
Agreed. The nastiness is driving me absolutely insane! As well as the claims about the severity of the “outbreak” and the fault of those who do not vaccinate their children; fear mongering is a great thing, worked well for a lot of dictators.
I think what people need to realize is that there are very real, very legitimate reasons why people do not vaccinate their children. If you asked someone if they trusted the government with their money, they’d say no…so why should we trust them implicitly with our children, especially when there is substantial and well researched information {by reputable sources} who question the safety.
Bottom line is there needs to be discussion about not only the issues with vaccines, but respect between sides during that discussion.
Crap…forgot to type in my web address: http://LifeintheWhiteHouse.com
Hi! I thank you for this post. I am (was) one of those people who have acted like what you describe in this. I do not fully understand why people do not vaccinate their children. With that being said, I would LOVE to understand. Maybe I’m just naive and don’t know the risks of vaccines. I would love to hear your concerns about them. TRULY, I am an information gatherer in most areas of life and this is one I maybe haven’t done enough research on.
You see, before having my son I thought I understood why a parent would choose not to vaccinate their child. I was, and still am, the kind of person who thinks everyone has the right to raise their kid how they see fit as long as it’s not abusive/neglectful, etc.
After having my son, I realized that most parents think the entire world of their kiddos. I being no exception. But somewhere along the way, I also learned how fragile life is. And for me, I couldn’t imagine not vaccinating my healthy son, because I do not want him getting something he might deal with okay, but then passing it along to someone who for medical purposes can’t be vaccinated, but may not deal as well with things like the measles. Someone’s child who may have cancer for example. Those poor parents, who love their kiddo as much as I love mine, but who didn’t have the choice to vaccinate or not, and then here comes my kiddo with the measles (or whatever), giving it to their child who they are already terribly worried about, and now this. And now I just added to their plate of concern for their child. I hurt to even think about that. But maybe it’s just because I am also one who feels like when my kid is sick with anything, no matter how minor it is to my son, I keep him home. We ride out the cabin fever together, so we don’t pass it along to someone whose family might not be able to take it as easily as we can. I have a nephew who has severe asthma and at the age of 5 has been hospitalized 4 times for minor illnesses that most of us don’t have to blink an eye at. My heart hurts for my nephew and for his parents every time that happens. I know it can’t all be prevented. I am not saying that. I am saying I want to do what is best for my child, but I also want to realize that it’s not all about my family, at least not all the time! I’m not saying everyone has to be that way. I’m just saying that’s the perspective I’ve coming from.
On another note, I am confused about your sentence that says “the biggest thing that holds me back from continuing with her vaccines at this point is the way I perceive those on the “pro-vax side” to treat me, my concerns, and my partially vaccinate child.” I get it. I truly get it. It was that mentality that made me push through with breastfeeding my son despite all of the food intolerances he had and all the food I had to eliminate from my diet. Those people saying I was crazy. Those people saying it can’t be done. Those people saying I should just give up. THOSE were the people who were driving me to prove them wrong. So trust me, I get it. What I am concerned about however, is that you are letting those people (people like I have sadly been at times) change your mind. Not push you forward with your plans, but change your mind. Don’t let anyone change your mind.
See, my husband and I debated whether to send my son to preschool or not. It was a huge debate that I did massive amounts of research on. MASSIVE. I talked to people who did, and people who didn’t. I talked to people who thought it was crazy that it was even a debate, because of course you send your kid to preschoool, and I talked to people who were glad I realized preschool was not needed for every kid. The truth be told, as I leaned closer to not sending my son to preschool, it was the people who supported this decision that almost made me change my mind. “Oh good, it’s so wonderful that you’re not buying into the need to send your kid to preschool. It’s so great that you want to keep him home with you another year. He doesn’t need to be exposed to young kids who have ungodly views this early in life. It’s great that you realize he can get all the preschool skills needed in a Christian environment….etc, etc.” These things really bothered me because they had little to do with my decision. These people really bothered me because they acted like they had all the answers and their way was the only “right” way. Had I let my bothers with their comments sway me, I would have ended up sending him to preschool. Something that was absolutely not needed, because you see, he’s got a mom who is a certified teacher and LOVES doing education things with him since he was born. And, he’s got social activities that leave me unconcerned with that as well, from a mom’s group, to church on Wednesday nights, to violin class with 12 other kiddos, and daycare 2 days a week. But they didn’t hear those things. And those people that are angering you, they aren’t hearing you either. So don’t let them decide your path one way or the other. Don’t change your thought process because of them. Don’t give your power over to their (my) ignorant comments. Do what you had planned. You’ll have pride in yourself for not allowing any comments from either side of the argument to sway you.
Again, I am thankful for this read to help shine some light on how I have dealt with this issue. And again, I’d love to hear your concerns for the risks, as I am obviously more ill informed on this than I realized. Thanks in advance for any comments you leave in reply. And have a wonderful Saturday with your kiddos! Blessings to you all! 🙂
Hi Amanda,
Thanks so much for your respectful comment, and for your encouragement to stay on with my original plan for vaccinating my child. I truly appreciate you sharing your thoughts and similar experience with me. I can hear and sense the deep compassion you have for the health and safety not only of your own child, but for other families and their children and I admire that about you. Our family operates from that same perspective.
As for the side-effects and risks of vaccines and why people would choose not to vaccinate, I appreciate your willingness to learn and become more informed. The truth is that the reasons why parents would choose not to vaccinate are so wide and varied, it’s hard for me to do them justice here, and I even admit that I don’t have a perfect handle on all of the many reasons either. If you are truly interested in learning more, I would encourage you to read and research from other sources.
I will speak personally, that for our family, the biggest concern for us is the current recommended vaccine schedule and the number of vaccines given at a time to such young babies. From my understanding and research, according to the CDC, there have not been any studies confirming the safety of the current vaccine schedule. And so while some of the individual vaccines may have a long and proven history of safety, the safety of the many vaccines given together at one time is unknown, and I am personally not comfortable with that. So we do a delayed and selective vaccination schedule under the supervision of our pediatrician. I hope that helps to answer some of your questions.
Blessings to you!
~Emily
Another reason is what is in the vaccines including mercury and other toxins. If they made “green” (clean) vaccines maybe people would be more open to them.
If people believe all the vaccines are necessary than why do they give a two day old baby the hepititus b vaccine, an illness you can only get by having unprotected sex or shooting drugs? Especially since the vaccine only lasts for 7 years. I don’t know about you but I do not know any 6 year olds who are having sex and shooting up drugs.
http://www.globalresearch.ca/25-facts-about-the-pharmaceutical-industry-vaccines-and-anti-vaxers/5433260
There are links to a lot of scientific studies and research on this site.
I loved your response, Amanda! I am a social worker and I love hearing from others the reasons why they do what they do. It fascinates me 🙂 I loved the history of the research you’ve done on preschool! Sounds like me. I’ve been a health researcher for many years since I developed an autoimmune disease, most likely from mercury and aluminum I received from vaccinations. I respect and appreciate all views and I admire you for yours. I must add that in my 13 years of research on vaccinations, I will never vaccinate again nor can I recommend them. Go in peace, friend. 🙂 (If interested, find Dr. Sherri Tenpenny and Suzanne Humphries on YouTube.)
I am not engaged in the politics of vaccination and I tend to obediently follow the guidance of my government. My kids are grown and I get an annual flu shot. I am comfortable with the risks of this vaccine. I have been drawn into the current trending discussions on the need for a shingles and a pneumonia vaccine due to my age. I am having some difficulty getting aggregate risk benefit analysis to assistance in my choice.
I would find it helpful if my government and the large health based non profits … ‘provide and promote trustworthy information that acknowledges the real risks and benefits of both vaccines and vaccine-preventable diseases’.
George Washington promoted civility. It is very useful in successful negotiation on difficult topics.
The constant assumptions and bashing from both sides is awful. I’m with you, I’m not anti-vaccine at all, but WHYYY can’t we have safer vaccines? Why do we have to have proven unsafe ingredients in them? If you do your own research, it’s pretty hard not to believe these vaccine companies put their giant profits before children’s safety- especially with the proof of the damage some of these ingredients can do.
Amanda from a couple of posts above: look into how vaccines can trigger autoimmune illnesses. That is the main factor for me, (my entire family tree struggles with many different autoimmune illnesses) and personally, I had a rare autoimmune illness show up in me conveniently after I had a MMR booster in 2006. This has altered my ENTIRE life, not to mention the amount of money I’ve spent trying to get appropriate care, diagnosed, and to treat it, (since most Dr’s only want to prescribe damaging meds). It can be debilitating for people with genetic predisposition for AI diseases to follow the CDC vaccine schedule. My 9 yr old son suffers from eczema and food allergies, and my 14 yr old daughter with ADD, they were both vaccinated following the CDC’s recommendations. I have to say, if I were to do it all over again, knowing what I know now about our family history, I wouldn’t follow their schedule, and would have probably opted out of at least two of the vaccines entirely.
Another quick thing- have you met someone with a vaccine injured child? I know a hard working single mother who followed her Dr’s advice to have TWO batches of vaccines (because they had missed one round) given in one setting. Her 2 year old son lost the ability to speak within 24 hours. The damage to his brain has altered his entire course of life. He is now low functioning and suffers from extreme autism. He will never be an independent adult, and she currently works 3 jobs to give him proper care. I’m sorry, but if you personally know someone who has dealt with this, and you don’t rethink the situation, I would be very surprised. Can you IMAGINE her position? Had she not made that choice, would her son have damage to his brain? How terrible is that for her? And it blows my mind that people continue to tell her that ‘there’s no way vaccines did this to her child.’ What?! How can you say that when this happened within 24 hours of the shots?!
These are serious things to consider before making the choice to blindly follow the CDC’s guidelines, and it’s so sad that the people trying to make the right choices for the health of their child are lumped into this one “Crazy Anti-Vaxxer” category. I hope and pray they actually do what’s right, and make safer vaccines.
Hi, Emily. I just found your blog the other day, and it seems like just what I’ve needed to find as my new little family of three takes baby steps toward cleaner eating and more organized living, especially as you write from a faith-based perspective.
I feel convicted by your post. I am very pro-vaccination, and was overjoyed the other day to hear that our pediatrician’s office refuses to see patients who don’t meet certain vaccination deadlines.
But you know what? You’re right. There’s a way to talk to well-meaning, caring, Mommas who are questioning vaccinations. I just wanted to say thank you for your post. You don’t know me, but I’m sorry for taking the wrong approach for arguing my side.
Thank you!
Hi Miriam,
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and to share so honestly. I appreciate so much the sincerity of your comment and your apology, which I fully accept. I know how hard it can be to admit when you’re feeling convicted and realize that you’ve been wrong, and it is very rare to hear that when it comes to this topic! Your honesty and humility is inspiring to me! I cannot tell you how humbling it is for me to know that something I’ve written and shared has made an impact on someone’s heart. I am so grateful that we can choose to be respectful to one another as we move forward in this conversation.
Blessings to you,
~Emily
Hi! I certainly respect your opinion but have had no qualms vaccinating my 4 kids. I do it for my nephew – and all the other immuno-suppressed kids out there. He’s a heart transplant patient and a lot of these diseases that we have vaccines would kill him if he was exposed.
This is so well written. Thank you for sticking your neck out there. I think this article helps both sides with this debate. It has definitely received some great feedback in the comments section. I have a three-year-old who has followed the CDC schedule. I also am expecting a new baby who will be on a modified schedule to avoid more than one shot, or more than one aluminum-containing shot, at one time. I am not giving my newborn HepB in the hospital because it contains 250 mcg of aluminum which is 10-15 times greater than the amount the FDA considers to be safe for an infant. In addition, I have been tested negative for HepB (all OBs test for this in your first trimester), my husband and I are monogamous, we do not do street drugs and we have not traveled to a country where HepB is common. The HepB vaccine has risks – which the CDC admits. So why, if the mother and father are safe, is the CDC recommending this vaccine to a newborn in the hospital the day after birth? A blanket approach, based on the promiscuous behaviors of a few, is not responsible… it is lazy. Why not test for HepB in a mother in the third trimester? Or after immediately birth? Why are we testing in the first trimester? And if HepB is necessary at birth, why not HepA? Since HepA is spread from fecal matter, shouldn’t the CDC be concerned that some families or daycare centers may accidentally infect the infant with small traces of infected fecal matter? It’s all relative considering both are spread due to unsafe lifestyles. Sorry if that got off topic but this may be an example of a free-thinking person who wants some honest answers.
I have my son partially vaccinated as well, before putting the next vaccines I am and have taken the time to do research; and it just plain scares me that he would have a side effect because of them.
His cousin who is one year older than my son got all the vaccines on time and he has ended up in emergency room way to often, once even ambulance had to get him because while they were walking he just felt on the floor and convulsions started; my concern began even more deeper when I began talking to her and she told me: she couldn’t understand why that was happening if her baby had vaccines a DAY before, and that vaccines were suppose to be for his good, she also mentioned to me how every time he got vaccines he ended up on on emergency, one doctor told her to skip a vaccine because his lungs were weak.
My sin is very strong, but yet I want to do what is best for him, not just assume that what the doctor tells me is the right thing to do, if what doctor tells was right we wouldn’t have a big lawsuit here in MD because of all the wrongful patients (more than 1200 cases) they sent to Chemotherapy. And my son doctor does not give me valid arguments either she just says, she just says how important they are for him when he grown to be in school.
To read this article fills me up, since it let’s me know I am not the only one with genuine concerns, and I am not just being paranoid. People tend to assume I am just to YOUNG to understand things. I might be but I read and do a whole lot of research to be sure what I am doing is the best for my baby after all it doesn’t matter how old your kids are they will always be your babies.
Thank you again, and very well said.
I commend you for tackling this topic- a very controversial one! It drives me crazy too! Bottom line is we should have the freedom to choose as we should in any topic. The key is that we should be informed what the risks are – not being expected to do something just because the doctor says to. Knowledge is power and I believe everyone should not take the word of another- pastor, doctor, anyone without doing their own research. I agree everyone needs to be respectful on both ends! http://www.nvic.org (great website to being informed on facts instead of being pushed in one particular way)
I have also been researching vaccines and appreciate your post. You might find this podcast helpful:
http://optimumwellnessandrehab.com/podcasthomepage/drstephanieseneff/
Thank you for this article! I don’t even have kids yet but this is a topic I have struggled with for 7 years. I have a chronic stomach disorder – my stomach is paralyzed – which was likely a side effect of a vaccination when I was a child. I suffered for nearly 13 years before finally getting answers and fully understanding the cause. While there is still a chance the cause was something else, research leads to vaccinations. I was vaccinated as a child (clearly) and never thought twice about vaccinating my own children some day.
However, now, it’s a challenging topic for my husband and I. I would never, EVER want someone to experience what I do on a daily basis, let alone a child. My mom cried when they finally diagnosed me out of pure anger that she couldn’t help me all those helpless years. I’m in pain everyday, I’m nauseous and tired constantly from not sleeping well due to discomfort. There are so few foods I can tolerate that food has become an emotional roller coaster for me.
On the contrary, I know that non-vaccinated people could pose a risk to others with compromised immune systems by not being vaccinated. So what’s better, the risk of exposing someone who can’t fight off a rare disease or a lifelong disorder that will challenge you everyday of your life? It’s a struggle for sure and I know I won’t know the answer until I have children – and even then I probably won’t know the right answer! As always, thanks for your insight, Emily!
I could not love this more! Tonight I posted on Facebook openly that we stopped vaccinating our oldest son at a year when he had a fever of 104, wasn’t sick at all but we’re told his vaccines didn’t cause it even though he had gotten his 1 year shots just a couple of days prior, and that our youngest who is a year and a half, has yet to recieve any vaccinations. I followed that stating that we now have factual evidence and court documents against the manufacturer of the MMR vaccine, stating that the MMR vaccine does in fact cause autistim, and they’ve known about it and covered it up for years. Instead of people being outraged for being lied to about something we’ve been told was safe and had no link what so ever to autism, I was shamed and bullied for being a bad parent for not having my children vaccinated. And the evidence still wasn’t enough for people, they were still saying IF it causes autism, they’d still take that risk versus subjecting their child to measles, mumps, or rubella. I’m just dumbfounded.
Thank you. Both for this letter and for this response. My once healthy son with Downs Syndrome, also has Autism. He is 16 now. . . and locked in his little world . . . mostly happy, but we’d love to be able to know what he’s thinking. . . to be able to have real communication. We wish we knew 16 years ago about all of this controversy and could have made a better informed decision. We would not of given him immunizations. . . It is a little late now. We love him immensely, wouldn’t trade him for the world; sad thing is, he is the one being cheated.
I have had my daughter vaccinated. It’s important to me not only for her health and well being, but also for those who cannot be vaccinated due to their own health issues or allergies to some medications, or whatever medical history they may have that prevents them from being able to receive vaccines. I feel it is my responsibility to vaccinate my child and myself if need be to protect our own health as well as others. I pray that we all can find the answers we are looking for in this sometimes quagmire of information.
I think pro-vaxxers get angry and pushy because when healthy children aren’t vaccinated, it puts children with serious illnesses who may not be able to get the vaccines at risk. People get upset over children. As a pro-vaxxer myself, I do not ignore the side effects of vaccines, but instead acknowledge them as a necessary evil, and I am willing to take a chance of a side effect so that certain diseases can remain eradicated.